Saturday, April 19, 2008

Universal Truths

Being raised in the church, we were taught that there were Universal Truths. These are principles of the Gospel that no matter what the circumstance is, they would hold true and remain constant. Period. There is no wavering from these Truths. For some odd reason I remember being told that when you spoke about a "Truth" of the Gospel the "T" was always capitalized. When I read the following article I realized that these are female Universal TRUTHS! I had no idea that I was, sadly, so predictable. I really thought that I was paving my own road, making my own mistakes, being stubborn in my own little way. I was so wrong!! With the exception of maybe one of these, I use every single one of these words and in the exact same tone/conotation. How sad!! Is there no uniqueness among women anymore? It kind of made me feel like an evil Stepford wife.

9 WORDS WOMEN USE (Courtesy of Niki Wilde)
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying S***W YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.


rebabell said...

Ya, I can definitely hear myself saying some of those things, esp. the last one. That's a constant.

Rachel said...

Last one for me too, how funny. Yeah, I say alot of these as well. But, I think Brian has learned to read me pretty well and could probably define most of these phrases to the T before being told what they really meant. Your blog takes FOREVER to load by the way!

The Fox's said...

this is hilarious...i read them aloud to Erik and we were cracking up...all of them are so true.

Hillarys little Paynes said...

you got me lauging cuz i use all of those and the interpretations are TRUTHS. My question is, if were so predictable and universal, why havent men figured all those out??

Lindsey said...

ok- i second hillary's question! seriously- we are NOT that big of a mystery. get with it, guys.

The Allred Family said...

Love that....we are just little robots. Or you could take amore spiritual route in your theory and just say that women were made a certain way FOR men. Somehow that ties into the Proc. to the Family, right????? :)