Sunday, May 16, 2010

Do Not Assume

I realize I haven't written a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY post and figure it's about time to post on my life again anyhow.  First of all, I had a wonderful mother's day but I agree with my sister-in-law in that no sane person would ever "schedule" mother's day on Sunday.  No matter how pleasant your husband's try to make it, Sunday's are just crazy HARD!  Jake did his best and I felt very special.  Thank you so much, honey!

On the other hand, it always makes me reflect on my feelings about being a mom.  I had one of those "holding my kids and I realized how much I loved them in that aching way you simply can't put into words" moments recently.  I don't have those very often but when I do it makes me feel like a mother bear protecting my cubs.  It makes me realize how fiercely I defend my role as mother.

We were having a discussion recently in playgroup about having children and how people like to make you feel crazy for wanting to have more than 1 or 2 kids.  This discussion made me realize a few things...thus, my sermon:

I remember when Jake first asked me, "You know what assume means, right?"  Well...just break the word down and you'll figure it out. 
The point assuming something you stand to make a fool of yourself.

I have, in my short life as a stay at home mother, had many people assume some things about me.  I get the craziest stares in grocery stores. 

I found this list of crazy assumptions on another blog.  I adjusted some of them for my life, but for the most part I totally agreed with this lady. 

1) My job as a stay at home mom will not be done when my kids are all in please don't assume that it will be. I have no intention of ever getting a "real" job again.

2) Do not assume that I am a stay at home mom due to any of the following:
being lazy, being uneducated, being weak willed (ie. my husband makes me), not wanting to get a "real" job, being overprotective, being controlling or that I have no other choice.

3) Please don't assume that I am dying for the day that I can get back into the work world and get a "real" job. I am doing my "real" job.

4) Please do not assume that my college education is "going to waste" because I don't have a "real" job. My job is "real" and I use my education on a daily basis.
Imagine that.

5) Please do not assume that because I am a stay at home mom, that my schedule is any more open than yours. No, I cannot run your errands, etc, because I don't have a "real" job and therefore must be overflowing with free time that I am desperate for you to fill.

6) Please don't assume that part of my reasoning for being a stay at home mom is because I believe that no one else can raise my children as well as I can.

Actually...this one is true.

7) Do not assume that I watch Oprah.

8) Do not assume that your job is more important than mine just because you get a paycheck.
My treasure is in Heaven.

9) Do not assume that I am "so lucky" that I get to stay home.
Luck has nothing to do with it.
We make sacrifices every day to make sure that I am able
to stay home with my kids.

10) And lastly, don't assume that I want your pity because I "have to" stay at home with my kids. It is my choice and I LOVE it. I love it. I love it. I feel as though I am fulfilling God's greatest purpose for a woman...being a mom and caring for my family.

I fully love my job of staying at home.  I love the up's and the down's of being a mom.  I love the things that I learn about myself every day.  I love the tears of frustration and ache that I shed much too often.  I love it because I am learning things about myself that I didn't know.  I am growing in ways I did not know were possible or were in me.  I am becoming someone different through the little ones in my life.  I am grateful for that.  I am grateful for being a mother.
I am grateful for the mother who trusted me to raise her son.  I hope I am making her proud.  I am trying, I am failing on occasion, but I am trying.  I love my babies and in the end, that's all that really matters. 

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Gym Envy


As I drive past almost any gym, I find myself coveting a membership and green with envy of all those people who have said membership. If the gym wasn't so far away I would actually seriously consider joining one.

For an hour plus a day, six days a week, I work out at home. It feels like I've been doing this FOREVER, and most days it feels like I always will because a gym membership is such an easy budget cut.

Every morning as I start which ever home routine I am doing for the day, I again find myself dreaming of a gym membership. As I crane my neck while running on my treadmill (a very dangerous venture) to make sure no little hands are getting too close, I yearn for a membership with a daycare.  As I pick various debris off  my back after laying down to do chest flys, I dream of kid-less bench pressing.


the phone rings
my downward dog pose has become a tunnel
middle little man is performing ear-ringing screeches
tiny one uses my plank pose to pull up to standing
jumping jacks ensure me I need to wear a diaper
4-5 poopy diapers need to be changed
I need to break up a fight
I pull tiny one away from DVD plug
I nearly catapult off of said treadmill
middle little man sneaks another cracker
tiny one invades the candy drawer and bites through all candy (wrappers and all)
I push pause for some kind of catastrophe prevention
all 3 kiddies sneak outside one door or another
big one tries to lift weights and drops them on his toes

...I sigh, keep going, and look forward to the day that I can work out at a gym.  And, 3 hours later, I am done and feel great for "enduring to the end".